to be Amy Poehler, doing this on SNL, for a living:
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Kirk Cameron is a man of integrity...
An interview with Kirk Cameron on his new movie, Fireproof and his marriage:
Saturday, October 4, 2008
New York to L.A.
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(Map of my cross country road trip September 30 - October 7th)
I'm currently on the road - following what I believe is God's leading and a long period of waiting...from New York City to my new home - in Los Angeles.
The past week has been a blur - I spent much of it packing, cleaning, moving out and selling and giving away my furniture. It was a whirlwind - as long as I had waited for this time to come - when it did, I barely had time to take it all in and realize what was happening.
So...! Here I am in Colorado - taking a short breather after days and hours of endless driving from New York City. I can't believe how much land has been traversed - especially as I look at the map and see just how far away from New York City I am at this moment. I knew, once I made the decision to go to my parents' place in L.A. that I needed to drive home. There was just no other way. I have taken numerous plane trips the past year - but I knew that I needed to get in a car. Not exactly sure why...perhaps it was motivated in part by my need to process, take-in and appreciate my last moments of alone-time before time with my family and...the dissertation. But also I think I felt a need to to come to a place where I am driving both literally and figuratively - in the driver's seat. Over the years I have had a recurring dream in which I am in the backseat of a car being driven by my parents or even my sister. I would wake up and realize that this is how I have felt in the way I have conducted my life thus far - a passenger in someone else's car. In the dream, as in real life, I wasn't making decisions or 'driving' out of my heart or mind or body - but I was passively being taken where my parents or family might lead. The dream disturbed and troubled me - in thinking it over and reflecting on the decisions I've made in the past, I've come to appreciate and realize that I need to start taking ownership of my decisions and life in general - with God's leading of course - but well, this is all still new to me and I'm processing it still as I go along. Let's just say, it felt like a sneeze that needed to be sneezed.
Regarding the road trip - as romantic as the idea seemed and does seem now - I realize that driving and traveling is hard work. I have a new appreciation for truckers and people who drive long distances for a living. It's not easy - in fact, it's truly exhausting and brain-numbing. My high-falutin' romantic notions of driving cross-country have been brought down a notch or two, but I still know this is the right way to get West. It's not nearly as nitty and gritty as the pioneers experienced it, but pretty gritty in it's own 21st century way. Honestly, it feels like a battle of sorts - a battle with my own stamina, my mind and the elements around me. I can't help but think it's a battle that I must fight - and who knows? Perhaps it's building in me an appreciation of the strength, perseverance, determination and mettle that will be required of me once I arrive at my intended destination...we shall see.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I like this quote...
"Find the things that stir your affections for Christ and saturate your life in them. Find the things that rob you of that affection and walk away from them. That’s the Christian life as easy as I can explain it for you."
Yes, amen.
Yes, amen.
Um, Was God Talkin' to Me?
So, I came home from work today and started going through the internet to find job listings. Anything. Something. High and Low. (and I mean High and well, mostly very Low!) hehe.
Then I decided I needed to stop and pray. I went to my room, sat on my bed, and asked God to speak to me through His word (i.e., the Bible). I wasn't sure what I was expecting to find, but I decided I needed to ask for His help before doing anything foolish.
Well, strangely, I opened to Jeremiah and came upon Chapter 31. My eyes kind of went buggy when I got to this passage: "Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears for your work will be rewarded," declares the Lord. "They will return from the land of the enemy, So there is hope for your future," declares the Lord.
and then onwards. Then, "Set up road signs; put up guideposts. Take note of the highway, the road that you take. Return, O Virgin Israel, return to your towns. How long will you wander, O unfaithful daughter? The Lord will create a new thing on earth -- a woman will surround a man."
Oh...my...goodness.
Then I decided I needed to stop and pray. I went to my room, sat on my bed, and asked God to speak to me through His word (i.e., the Bible). I wasn't sure what I was expecting to find, but I decided I needed to ask for His help before doing anything foolish.
Well, strangely, I opened to Jeremiah and came upon Chapter 31. My eyes kind of went buggy when I got to this passage: "Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears for your work will be rewarded," declares the Lord. "They will return from the land of the enemy, So there is hope for your future," declares the Lord.
and then onwards. Then, "Set up road signs; put up guideposts. Take note of the highway, the road that you take. Return, O Virgin Israel, return to your towns. How long will you wander, O unfaithful daughter? The Lord will create a new thing on earth -- a woman will surround a man."
Oh...my...goodness.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Sorry for the (benign) neglect
Hello everyone (er, or just mom and maybe sis, and most likely, just myself..haha)!
Nice to be back. Sorry to be away for so long. I've been a little preoccupied of late as I've contemplated a few major and notso major things, such as (it's useful here to remind myself - 'cause I can't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning):
1) A career shift - as in MAJOR - as in - what the heck was I thinking when I signed on for years of academia and books and pretention? (sorry, ok, I promise this is going to be rated PG and nice here on out).
2) What is the ultimate goal/end of human (my/our/your) existence? I am haunted by the words of a former boss and mentor who I met in my first job out of college. He was the partner of a law firm and after years of slaving away and getting to the top - he told me he was quitting and that he had 'spent his whole life climbing up a ladder, only to realize it was the wrong ladder.' I remember he had a rough year - but it had shaken him out of the status quo and I'd like to imagine he found his true life's calling...in what, I never did find out, but we did stay in touch for a number of years after I left the firm and I always admired him deeply - he struck me as a kind, sincere and deep soul - a bit out of place in that stuffy firm.
3) What is the balance between patience and long-suffering - and well, selling out?
I am thinking of Joseph and many of the 'greats' in the Bible who endured years in prison, and other various circumstances and did not complain one peep. They knew God had a purpose and plan for their lives even though circumstances did not seem to look too promising. They simply waited it out - stuck it through - sucked it up. On the other hand, maybe abiding with some circumstance is the WRONG thing to do - if it's simply - wrong. I am currently back in a job that I feel is killing me inside (er, PG - figuratively speaking) - I have been looking for other jobs, but no doors are opening as of yet. A friend advised that I "take a leap of faith" and quit - and that if I did so - doors would open up. That would all be fine and good, except that i have a humongous rent bill that needs to get paid until the end of August. So I'm looking to August to make the big leap. But what if part of the reason I want to leave is because I feel that what I am doing is ultimately serving a 'bad' than a 'good'? (i.e., Nazi regime under Hitler comes to mind). Does one simply do as one's told in the job and stick it out until the opportunity arises to leave - or does one leave? I've been so tempted to walk out almost every day the past few weeks. It's so strange. But then again it could be Aunt Bessie (pms).
Ok, that's a mouthful already - maybe I'll leave it at that for now. I guess they weren't minor things after all. In fact, the stuff I've been mulling over the past few months are all - pretty major.
Yes, time for some changes. I just don't know how, or when or wherefore or...what. I'm sincerely praying God will open up the doors, lay low the mountains and have sweet mercy on me....
Nice to be back. Sorry to be away for so long. I've been a little preoccupied of late as I've contemplated a few major and notso major things, such as (it's useful here to remind myself - 'cause I can't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning):
1) A career shift - as in MAJOR - as in - what the heck was I thinking when I signed on for years of academia and books and pretention? (sorry, ok, I promise this is going to be rated PG and nice here on out).
2) What is the ultimate goal/end of human (my/our/your) existence? I am haunted by the words of a former boss and mentor who I met in my first job out of college. He was the partner of a law firm and after years of slaving away and getting to the top - he told me he was quitting and that he had 'spent his whole life climbing up a ladder, only to realize it was the wrong ladder.' I remember he had a rough year - but it had shaken him out of the status quo and I'd like to imagine he found his true life's calling...in what, I never did find out, but we did stay in touch for a number of years after I left the firm and I always admired him deeply - he struck me as a kind, sincere and deep soul - a bit out of place in that stuffy firm.
3) What is the balance between patience and long-suffering - and well, selling out?
I am thinking of Joseph and many of the 'greats' in the Bible who endured years in prison, and other various circumstances and did not complain one peep. They knew God had a purpose and plan for their lives even though circumstances did not seem to look too promising. They simply waited it out - stuck it through - sucked it up. On the other hand, maybe abiding with some circumstance is the WRONG thing to do - if it's simply - wrong. I am currently back in a job that I feel is killing me inside (er, PG - figuratively speaking) - I have been looking for other jobs, but no doors are opening as of yet. A friend advised that I "take a leap of faith" and quit - and that if I did so - doors would open up. That would all be fine and good, except that i have a humongous rent bill that needs to get paid until the end of August. So I'm looking to August to make the big leap. But what if part of the reason I want to leave is because I feel that what I am doing is ultimately serving a 'bad' than a 'good'? (i.e., Nazi regime under Hitler comes to mind). Does one simply do as one's told in the job and stick it out until the opportunity arises to leave - or does one leave? I've been so tempted to walk out almost every day the past few weeks. It's so strange. But then again it could be Aunt Bessie (pms).
Ok, that's a mouthful already - maybe I'll leave it at that for now. I guess they weren't minor things after all. In fact, the stuff I've been mulling over the past few months are all - pretty major.
Yes, time for some changes. I just don't know how, or when or wherefore or...what. I'm sincerely praying God will open up the doors, lay low the mountains and have sweet mercy on me....
Monday, May 19, 2008
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