Fashion 911

A friend of mine just started a blog on women's fashion tips - do's and dont's - based mainly on the major dont's - she's seen on the streets. Yes, there were numerous times recently when I saw her face go slack in horror as we were walking down the street - she would point to something someone was wearing and ask, "why?" I always thought she was kinda joking - who knew that it was actually the beginning of a wonderful foray into a hilariously entertaining and informative blog? I highly recommend it. You can check it out, NYC fashion 101.

Why I like the Flu

So...I finally caught what everyone else seems to have caught the past few months - the flu. It sucks, no doubt. But one nice thing about being sick is that you have an excuse to lay on your back and watch movies...which is exactly what I have been doing the past few evenings. (Sorry big D - the new name I've given my fickle boyfriend, the dissertation).

Two titles that jumped out at me on the DVD rack - Shopgirl and Juno. Won't bore you with an analysis of my reading of the movies, but let's just say it's uncanny how two totally different characters in each of these movies made me feel more like me. Or rather, reminded me of me...and they both dealt with issues that I've struggled with...such as:: oohhh time for personal revelation to cyberspace stalkers:: a) healing from a past relationship that totally is reflected in Shopgirl - except that the characters are all a lot nicer and have more integrity in the movie than in real life. b) that endless search for the real deal - check! - which i still believe exists in the shape of a soul mate. c) the idea of being quirky.spunky.different.real which is why I liked Juno - her character - so much. She just *is* and it's so refreshing to watch.

Btw, does it say something that Allison Janney the actress who plays Juno's stepmom in the movie is one of my alltime favorite actresses - mainly because she often plays who she really is (see West Wing for a good dose) - which at a gut level - I just darn LIKE and am - and aspire to be...smart, real, hardnosed - but soft deep down with a confidence and edge that throws you off guard and makes you smile at the same time...difficult to put into words.

Anyway, let's just say being sick and watching movies (like these) really ain't all that bad.

Autistic girl with a special gift

Just saw this story online and wanted to share - it's inspiring and uplifting...something she says in the audio clip really resonated with me - that each person has, deep within his/her soul a unique gift that is unlike any other (something along these lines) - and even if it may not be obvious to everyone else - it's there....Her words carry unusual insight and weight. And what she shares is true, so very true.

L.A. Confidential: If Beckham Did It Why Can't I?

Recently, strangely, God has put it on my heart to consider moving to L.A. for at least a few months to spend time with my family (I am due to be an auntie again in May!) - and spend focused time on the dissertation...

My mom called me several months ago for a heart to heart and expressed, through tears, her wish for me to come and spend time with her and dad, my sister, my nephew and bro-in-law...I felt sad, but knew at the time that I couldn't do it then. Now, however, it's become a real possibility - especially as I consider my desire to spend more time with my nephew and my family, generally...

I watched a short film last night at the International Arts Movement space (IAM.org) called "The Wormhole" which moved me tremendously. Produced by a woman who goes to my church, Sidney. I watched it and during one particularly poignant scene, my sister came to mind very strongly - how much I miss her and love her...

Anyway, I would NEVER have considered moving from New York City before - and had bemoaned my parents' move to L.A. (I mean, c'mon - how many Koreans do you know from California?!) but I guess it's a testimony that God can change hearts and attitudes towards things you would never imagine...

We'll see what actually happens - still processing the idea, but let's just say, it's a bit uncanny how often L.A. and it's awesomeness (um, is that a word?) has come up recently...i.e., reasons to move to L.A. Here are the top 5-10:

1) To spend time with my family who I miss very much.
2) LUKAS - I love the little man! i.e., my nephew.
3) I spoke at length with my sister during Xmas about our shared dream to record music together...and being closer together would make that more likely!
4) New nephew on the way. Yay!
5) Ok, these are probably not as meaningful, but my fears of there being a lack of culture were slightly allayed by news of Dudamel's taking over the conductorship of the L.A. Symphony Orchestra! (see post below).
6) Just saw a segment about a soccer camp started by David Beckham now playing for the L.A. team (cool!)
7) The weather.
8) Beaches.
9) Might be able to do things without distraction - finish up the big D, write music, explore the arts scene, without all the intimidation of the NYC scene.
10) They do have sushi...

Um. Well, there may be better reasons to list - but those seem to work for now.

To be continued...

Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken

I love this song. We sang it in church today and I have been looking for a recorded version that is the same as the version we sang during the service today - the closest thing I found was this video on youtube:



As I sang along with the video God moved in my heart - I was filled with a joyful-sorrow, a longing and hope that only God really knows. Who can explain why Christ shows us so much in the midst of pain and sorrow? But I wouldn't trade my relationship with Him for anything else.

Jesus, I my cross have taken
by Henry Francis Lyte

Jesus, I my cross have taken, all to leave and follow Thee.
Destitute, despised, forsaken, Thou from hence my all shall be.
Perish every fond ambition, all I’ve sought or hoped or known.
Yet how rich is my condition! God and heaven are still mine own.

Let the world despise and leave me, they have left my Savior, too.
Human hearts and looks deceive me; Thou art not, like them, untrue.
And while Thou shalt smile upon me, God of wisdom, love and might,
Foes may hate and friends disown me, show Thy face and all is bright.

Go, then, earthly fame and treasure! Come, disaster, scorn and pain!
In Thy service, pain is pleasure; with Thy favor, loss is gain.
I have called Thee, “Abba, Father”; I have set my heart on Thee:
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather, all must work for good to me.

Man may trouble and distress me, 'twill but drive me to Thy breast.
Life with trials hard may press me; heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, 'tis not in grief to harm me while Thy love is left to me;
Oh, 'twere not in joy to charm me, were that joy unmixed with Thee.

Take, my soul, thy full salvation; rise o'er sin, and fear, and care;
Joy to find in every station something still to do or bear:
Think what Spirit dwells within thee; what a Father's smile is thine;
What a Savior died to win thee, child of heaven, shouldst thou repine?

Haste then on from grace to glory, armed by faith, and winged by prayer,
Heaven's eternal day's before thee, God's own hand shall guide thee there.
Soon shall close thy earthly mission, swift shall pass thy pilgrim days;
Hope soon change to glad fruition, faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

Mountains Beyond Mountains

The title of a book that I am reading about Dr. Paul Farmer - a doctor who started a rural health clinic in Haiti several decades ago and has since established health clinics for the poor all over the world...I was told by a friend that this book would be lifechanging, but for some reason, assumed that this meant because she was a doctor - it probably applied more to her than to someone like me. However, now having gotten about half-way thru it, I realize that this is much more than a story about a doctor - it's a story about someone extraordinary; and more so because of his integrity, commitment, dedication and sense of outrage at the things that make people sick, hungry and poor. I can't quite articulate right now what this book is doing to me on the inside, but there are some profound changes going on - especially with regard to how and why I go about making choices about my life and career in the way that I do...it's a fine line between seeking one's own glory and desiring God's. Honestly, I know many who profess belief in Christ (myself included) who often pursue certain paths for their own comfort, security and well-being rather than seeking that for others as for themselves...rather than serving God. This is the ultimate, singular question and issue that I've been wrestling with recently - the question of seeking God's glory rather than my own - wondering whether my choices are really about serving Him or pursuing my own agenda. I have to say, at critical junctures, God has pierced my heart with an awareness of the injustices that exist in this world and has given me a desire to do something about it...but along the way, it's hard not to get distracted by 'shiny' objects. The objects of success, approval in other's eyes, status, importance, achievement, money.

In Paul Farmer's life and work - as narrated in Tracy Kidder's book, Mountains Beyond Mountains, I have gotten a glimpse of someone who has a pure heart - one who is driven to serve the poor because he cares. It's absolutely disturbing and amazing - it makes me want to get up, pray and go. Where, I'm not quite sure - but sitting in an office writing policy papers becomes a lot less meaningful when I see that the real work of building God's kingdom is rooted in an incarnational love for others - particularly for those who the world has deemed less important or even worth ignoring altogether....The most meaningful times in my life, looking back, have been those where I was doing something completely menial in service to a community...teaching inner city kids in New Haven, working as the Director of the US Grant Foundation during college; volunteering at the Bowery Mission for the homeless; talking to refugees and displaced civilians in northern Uganda. These moments were the most meaningful - not because of what I did, but what I came to see in the faces of people who knew what it meant to suffer and yet hoped and lived in dignity despite their circumstances. I never felt more fulfilled than when I was in community, serving, loving, helping others, being helped myself.

Lord, help me. I know this is what I want to do with my life - I picture myself back in Africa perhaps or maybe even in an urban slum - who knows - but I know that living a life of complacency is what I dread most.

The photo above is of a child cured of TB by Paul Farmer in Haiti. The book does a wonderful job illustrating the real care and love this man has for everyone he meets.

This video, shows a clip of a speech he gave at Xavier University in Ohio.

Hope his example proves inspiring to you as it did for me and countless others.

Gustavo Dudamel

see the uplifting 60 minutes interview here.