Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken

I love this song. We sang it in church today and I have been looking for a recorded version that is the same as the version we sang during the service today - the closest thing I found was this video on youtube:



As I sang along with the video God moved in my heart - I was filled with a joyful-sorrow, a longing and hope that only God really knows. Who can explain why Christ shows us so much in the midst of pain and sorrow? But I wouldn't trade my relationship with Him for anything else.

Jesus, I my cross have taken
by Henry Francis Lyte

Jesus, I my cross have taken, all to leave and follow Thee.
Destitute, despised, forsaken, Thou from hence my all shall be.
Perish every fond ambition, all I’ve sought or hoped or known.
Yet how rich is my condition! God and heaven are still mine own.

Let the world despise and leave me, they have left my Savior, too.
Human hearts and looks deceive me; Thou art not, like them, untrue.
And while Thou shalt smile upon me, God of wisdom, love and might,
Foes may hate and friends disown me, show Thy face and all is bright.

Go, then, earthly fame and treasure! Come, disaster, scorn and pain!
In Thy service, pain is pleasure; with Thy favor, loss is gain.
I have called Thee, “Abba, Father”; I have set my heart on Thee:
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather, all must work for good to me.

Man may trouble and distress me, 'twill but drive me to Thy breast.
Life with trials hard may press me; heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, 'tis not in grief to harm me while Thy love is left to me;
Oh, 'twere not in joy to charm me, were that joy unmixed with Thee.

Take, my soul, thy full salvation; rise o'er sin, and fear, and care;
Joy to find in every station something still to do or bear:
Think what Spirit dwells within thee; what a Father's smile is thine;
What a Savior died to win thee, child of heaven, shouldst thou repine?

Haste then on from grace to glory, armed by faith, and winged by prayer,
Heaven's eternal day's before thee, God's own hand shall guide thee there.
Soon shall close thy earthly mission, swift shall pass thy pilgrim days;
Hope soon change to glad fruition, faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

Mountains Beyond Mountains

The title of a book that I am reading about Dr. Paul Farmer - a doctor who started a rural health clinic in Haiti several decades ago and has since established health clinics for the poor all over the world...I was told by a friend that this book would be lifechanging, but for some reason, assumed that this meant because she was a doctor - it probably applied more to her than to someone like me. However, now having gotten about half-way thru it, I realize that this is much more than a story about a doctor - it's a story about someone extraordinary; and more so because of his integrity, commitment, dedication and sense of outrage at the things that make people sick, hungry and poor. I can't quite articulate right now what this book is doing to me on the inside, but there are some profound changes going on - especially with regard to how and why I go about making choices about my life and career in the way that I do...it's a fine line between seeking one's own glory and desiring God's. Honestly, I know many who profess belief in Christ (myself included) who often pursue certain paths for their own comfort, security and well-being rather than seeking that for others as for themselves...rather than serving God. This is the ultimate, singular question and issue that I've been wrestling with recently - the question of seeking God's glory rather than my own - wondering whether my choices are really about serving Him or pursuing my own agenda. I have to say, at critical junctures, God has pierced my heart with an awareness of the injustices that exist in this world and has given me a desire to do something about it...but along the way, it's hard not to get distracted by 'shiny' objects. The objects of success, approval in other's eyes, status, importance, achievement, money.

In Paul Farmer's life and work - as narrated in Tracy Kidder's book, Mountains Beyond Mountains, I have gotten a glimpse of someone who has a pure heart - one who is driven to serve the poor because he cares. It's absolutely disturbing and amazing - it makes me want to get up, pray and go. Where, I'm not quite sure - but sitting in an office writing policy papers becomes a lot less meaningful when I see that the real work of building God's kingdom is rooted in an incarnational love for others - particularly for those who the world has deemed less important or even worth ignoring altogether....The most meaningful times in my life, looking back, have been those where I was doing something completely menial in service to a community...teaching inner city kids in New Haven, working as the Director of the US Grant Foundation during college; volunteering at the Bowery Mission for the homeless; talking to refugees and displaced civilians in northern Uganda. These moments were the most meaningful - not because of what I did, but what I came to see in the faces of people who knew what it meant to suffer and yet hoped and lived in dignity despite their circumstances. I never felt more fulfilled than when I was in community, serving, loving, helping others, being helped myself.

Lord, help me. I know this is what I want to do with my life - I picture myself back in Africa perhaps or maybe even in an urban slum - who knows - but I know that living a life of complacency is what I dread most.

The photo above is of a child cured of TB by Paul Farmer in Haiti. The book does a wonderful job illustrating the real care and love this man has for everyone he meets.

This video, shows a clip of a speech he gave at Xavier University in Ohio.

Hope his example proves inspiring to you as it did for me and countless others.