Love Test

Have you ever really loved somebody? I'm not sure...but it's the "always" that gets me in the verse below. And what is love, if the other person doesn't love you back? I guess that's the test.

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”- 1 Corinthians 13: 6-7

Billy Graham

...wrote a message to me on my space. This is what myspace does - strangers become "friends." I am now "friends" with the likes of Zach Braff (of Scrubs fame), Chris Tomlin, Derek Weber (musicians), and yes, you guessed it, Billy Graham.

Background to joining myspace: I was a member and didn't even realize it. That is, until a friend pointed it out and invited me to be his 'friend.' I looked, and lo and behold, there I was. Disturbing. I don't ever remember signing up. What was more strange was the only thing written on the site about me when I took a look: "Doesn't want to have kids." Who could've written this horrible distortion of the truth?

Well. I snooped around and saw that a few of my friends had not put up a profile either - and the default posting seemed to be "doesn't ever want to have kids" as well. I'm guessing it's probably a ploy by myspace to get people to upload their space with the correct information. Cause who doesn't want to have kids? and even if you didn't, why would you want to broadcast it to the whole myspace world?

I am addicted to myspace, btw. All of 5 days it took me to get addicted to something other than facebook...I think it's my way of making up for the lack of socializing of late.

yeah, pretty pathetic...but oh-so fun. :)

Sedona

I was here! or er, rather there!

If I ever have a daughter, I think I'll name her Sedona.

Is this a waste of time? Tell me.

Probably so, but I've gone on done it.

www.myspace.com/lovejesus

Sad.

I just received an email from a former pastor about a death in the church, of a guy I kinda knew and interacted with a few years ago. I was shocked and saddened by the news. I am not sure what led to his passing - but he was a very young guy. I came across this blog after reading the email and couldn't help but think along the same lines as this "naked pastor" blogger.

Btw, "Nato" below is not the guy I knew...someone else, but the thoughts here resonate with me and are worth sharing.

I had an acquaintance who committed suicide a number of years ago and number 1 below hit me like a rock. I had no idea that beneath her calm, serene exterior she was experiencing so much pain...

Read on.


***

10 Things A Friend’s Death Taught MePosted in real life, thoughts by nakedpastor on the February 7th, 2007

I wrote these 10 points for myself, and thought I would share them with you today. Our friend Nato took his own life just weeks ago, and he’s left behind not only some precious memories, but some pretty serious thinking as well. So, although these are for me, listen in if you want:

1. LISTEN: People aren’t necessarily fine. Just because someone looks and seems fine, it doesn’t mean they are. I’ve dealt with several suicides before. All of them are a shock, but some more than others. I’ve heard a statistic that about 80% reveal signs beforehand that suicide is an option. The other 20% are a complete shock to everyone, even those closest to them. I’ve learned over the years that people aren’t what they seem. I’ve learned not to be impressed with the persona that’s put out there. I always try to assume that people are wrestling with fundamental issues and many are carrying a great deal of pain. Hear what they are saying, how they are saying it, body language, anything! Underneath the calm can be a great deal of turbulence.

2. LEAN: Find someone to lean on. Learn how to express what you are going through. Find someone who can listen to your deepest fears and most intense pain. Learn to not be ashamed of yourself and trust someone with your truest self. If you start thinking life isn’t worth living, immediately realize it is a lie. If you start thinking of suicide, for God’s sake, tell someone! If someone asks you if you are, be honest and tell the truth. Life is worth living! Don’t believe the lie. There is help out there! Try talking.

3. LOOSEN UP: Follow your passion. Find out now what you really, really want to do in life and pursue that. Since Nato’s suicide, some people who knew him have actually quit jobs that they hated or are contemplating doing so, figuring correctly that life’s too short to be stuck in something that’s killing their soul! Why stay trapped in a cell to which you hold the key in your own hand? Go for it! Be released!

4. LET IT GO: Money ain’t everything. So what if you are in debt up to your eyeballs! So what if you seem forever to struggle for money. Some people feel so overwhelmed with money problems that they see no way out of the trap and would rather escape the whole world than deal with it. This is related to the point above, but settle it in your heart right now that it doesn’t matter how much or little money you have, joy is the possession of everyone, including you, no matter what size the bank account or the burden of debt.

5. LOVE: Love the one you’re with. I mean really love them. Don’t believe the myth that the grass is greener on the other side. The one you fell in love with years ago might be gone tomorrow. You might be gone tomorrow. Love is the greatest! So do it, and do it now. Don’t wait for perfect conditions. Love Lisa. Love your kids. Love them unconditionally. Extravagantly! Stop holding back, being reserved and cautious. Love her like there is no tomorrow.

6. LIVE and LAUGH: Stop and smell the roses. Enjoy life. It isn’t all about working, making money, paying bills, chores, deadlines. It is about life. It is about enjoying the trees, the sunsets, the walks, the drives, the stars, the music, the wine, the people, the movies, whatever. Take it all in. Drink life to the dregs. Live every day as though it were your last. You’re taking life too seriously. Have fun. Enjoy what you have and enjoy what is. I am surrounded by all kinds of things to enjoy and to rejoice in. Gandhi’s mantra was “joy”. In spite of indescribable struggles and hardships, joy characterized his demeanor. Rejoice! Again I say, rejoice!

7. LOSE IT: Don’t put up with the crap. Suddenly, some things are no longer important to those of us left behind. When faced with death or other kinds of great loss, superficialities lose their appeal. Things that waste time and energy and money no longer tempt. Things that are fake are forsaken. It’s time to get real! If you smell crap coming, reject it! If you detect it in yourself, dump it! Hate hypocrisy! Abhor pretension!

8. LEARN: Learn that God is far more mysterious than you give him credit for. You so want to believe silly notions about God because they give you a false sense of security and comfort. Suddenly, this kind of tragedy makes you realize that God and life aren’t as simple as you’d like or thought. God is very unlike you, and his ways are not your ways. He doesn’t subscribe to your neat little packages. You are swimming in an endless, fathomless ocean of profound, beautiful and terrifying mystery!

9. LEAP: Take some chances. Live a life of risk. Do what you’ve always wanted to do. Take that trip. Try a new venture. Start that business! Sell all you have and give to the poor. Whatever it is that you’ve dreamed of doing, give it a shot. Life’s too short to live a life of just dreaming, of caution and inevitably of regret. Take that extraordinary leap of faith. What are you waiting for?

10. LET THEM BE: One of the consistent burdens that you carry are the expectations put upon you by others. Of course, you need to learn to resist carrying other people’s expectations they place upon you, but my point here is that you need to let people be! Don’t thrust your goals for others upon them. Not even your children or wife! Release people from your desires. Let people be free to choose their own destiny, to find themselves, to live as they see fit. Loosen your hold on others. They are already extraordinarily beautiful!

In conclusion: Picture yourself on your death bed. What will be filling your heart and mind at that moment? Money? Job? Vocation? Cars? Houses? Possessions? Projects? Goals? Expectations for others? No! Your heart will be bursting with gratitude for those who’ve loved you and for those you’ve loved. The only regret will be that you didn’t love and receive love more freely and unconditionally. So start now!

This, I like.

Can't help but grab this post and stick it on mine. Hey, it's a free blog-world, is it not? What insight, what truth contained in this meditation below from the blog next door, "Here's to Hindsight." It's not about me trying to be good or trying at all - it's about surrender and a giving up - a realizing that I am nothing without the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

***

Rest
By "Here's to Hindsight"
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

When Jesus said [those words], He assumed we would all grow weary, discouraged, disheartened along the way. These words are a touching testimony to the genuine humanness of Jesus.
- Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

One of my friends asked me once if Christianity is like the "lazy" form of religion, because it kills off the notion of the necessity of being a good person. And after I thought about it, I think I realized that Christianity is not at all lazy, because it requires a great deal of effort to remember that I can do nothing to earn my salvation, especially when everything inside of me wants to lay claim to some worthy actions. Christianity, in its truest form, tells me to kill off the notion of pride... to recognize myself incapable of doing good. It's pretty humbling. And immensely beautiful.

Here it is, really: Jesus did not die to make me a good person. He died to make the dead thing in me alive.

Reading Colossians 1:9-14

Felt these words POP out to me last night and this morning...asking God to speak into my situation.

Has that ever happened to you?

***

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Wow.

Featured in Today's NYTimes. I remember reading the article about the Ghanian boys sold by their parents into hard labor (October 29th NYTimes mentioned below)...I remember how affected I was reading the story, but I was even more affected by the story about this couple, Pam and Randy, a pair of remarkable people; a story of how God turns tragedy into something...amazing.

Two of the boys, Mark and John Arthur Kwado, 6 and 12 years old, who are featured in the article, had been working on a fishing boat, after being sold by their mother into indentured labor...the two brothers were placed in a Christian run orphanage through Mr. and Mrs. Cope's efforts.

It seems they are involved in an organization, Touch a Life, which has more information about the Cope's and how to help.

February 5, 2007
Building a Memorial to a Son, One Child at a Time
By SHARON LaFRANIERE
Seven years ago, Pam Cope owned a hair salon in Neosho, a tiny southwest Missouri town, and her husband, Randy, had just been appointed vice president of a company that ran a string of newspapers there and in neighboring states.

Their lives revolved around their son’s baseball games, their daughter’s dance lessons and trips to places like Walt Disney World.

“My world was very small,” Mrs. Cope said in a telephone interview in late January from Neosho, where she still lives. “I was pretty shallow.”

Few would say that today.

Early last month, Mrs. Cope returned from Ghana, where she had financed the rescue of seven children who were working as indentured servants on fishing boats for as little as $20 a year. The youngest of them, Mark Kwadwo, 6, had labored in dire conditions under a brutal fisherman who beat him when he did not get up at midnight to bail out canoes.

Working with a small Ghanaian charity, Mrs. Cope paid $3,600 to free the children and found them a new home in an orphanage near Accra, the capital. After years of privation, the children were dumbstruck by the plentiful breakfast served at the orphanage, caregivers there said.

Mrs. Cope’s trip to Ghana followed journeys to Vietnam and Cambodia, where she and her husband help finance shelters for needy children and their families, and where the Copes adopted two Vietnamese children.

The little hair salon, with its cozy peach and green decor, is a dim memory. Mrs. Cope is now a fund-raiser and executive of Touch a Life Ministries, an organization she and her husband started to help desperate children in faraway places. By their reckoning, the group has spent about $150,000, mainly in Cambodia and Vietnam, on such tasks as financing shelters for children who are abused, handicapped, living on the street or orphaned by AIDS.

Mrs. Cope says that work has brought new meaning to a life that was once far more circumscribed. But her motivation lies elsewhere: by helping children abroad, the Copes sought to create a legacy for their son, Jantsen, who died in June 1999, unexpectedly, of an undetected heart ailment.

Jantsen was an athletic, fun-loving 15-year-old, the first baseman on a local team, excited about the prospect of high school. With his death, “we were instantly transformed into different people,” Mrs. Cope said. “We couldn’t resume normal life. We already knew that.”

It took the Copes about a year to find their new focus. Jantsen’s funeral was the start. In lieu of flowers, the they asked for donations to a memorial fund in his name.

The fund accumulated a surprising $25,000, and the Copes searched for how best to spend it in Neosho, a town of about 11,000. They thought of buying new uniforms for the girls’ soccer team, but discovered that it already had money for that. They considered buying new playground equipment for the parks, but that did not seem to be a crying need either.

“It got to the point it was almost comical,” Mrs. Cope said. “All the doors were closed. That’s when we decided that God had very specific plans for this money and that our money should be spent overseas.”

They finally offered the money to Arkansas friends who were building orphanages in Vietnam and went there to see the work under way. That changed their lives: they adopted two orphaned babies. An additional 45 children are now cared for in shelters with their organization’s support. In Cambodia, they help finance a shelter for families suffering from AIDS-related illness.

Mrs. Cope, 44, and her husband, who is still a publishing company executive, run the organization together. They make a monthly contribution from their income. He keeps track of the accounts. She makes the rounds of churches and service clubs and chooses the projects.

Initially, she found fund-raising stressful. “I would speak to 400 or 500 people, and nobody would give me any money,” she said. Then, she said, she decided she could only try to be a voice for children in crisis, not control the reaction. Now she views the balance sheet with equanimity.

“Money comes from places I never expect, and places I expect to get money from I don’t,” she said. “Part of my message is, you don’t have to have tons of money, but you have to have a willing heart.”

Hers was touched Oct. 29 by the plight of Ghanaian children who were forced to labor up to 14 hours a day for fishermen on Lake Volta. The Copes read an article in The New York Times that day about how the child workers in fishing villages around Kete Krachi were deprived of necessities, schooling and freedom.

The International Organization for Migration, an intergovernmental group that fights child trafficking, was planning a long-term rescue project there. Late in January, working with officials from the Ministry of Women and Children in Ghana, it secured the freedom of 25 children, its first group from Kete Krachi.

But Mrs. Cope did not want to wait to see if the International Organization for Migration would come through. Working from her home in November, she teamed up with a Kete Krachi schoolteacher, George Achibra, and a Dutch volunteer, Paul van den Bosch. The men run Pacodep, a small nonprofit group in Ghana. It also aids International Organization for Migration programs.

Mr. Achibra and Mr. van den Bosch negotiated with the employers of seven children, offering to pay for new nets, boat repairs and other needs in exchange for the children’s freedom. The two tracked down the parents of those children. All of the destitute parents agreed in writing that their children should be cared for at a Christian-run orphanage called The Village of Hope, Mr. van den Bosch said.

Four days before Christmas, the children arrived by bus at the orphanage. Caregivers said one girl was so fearful of going hungry that she filled a bag with leftovers from other children’s plates. Few of the children had had any schooling. All now attend school.

When Mrs. Cope visited in January, she found Mark Kwadwo a transformed child — reveling in piggyback rides, spaghetti and his new school uniform.

“To hear him giggle,” she wrote by e-mail, “was priceless.”

Incarnating.

I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”- Psalm 18:1-2

Funny thing happens when you read something like this passage above and really start to let the voice of someone else become your own...it reminds me of a very interesting documentary on the human brain and psychology that I saw a while ago on PBS hosted by Alan Alda (that famous 80-90s actor, I believe). Anyway, there was one section in the documentary which absolutely floored me. Studies showed that human thought and emotions are actually very much a product of the things we DO and SAY, not the other way around. For example, people who were told to "smile" in an experiment, triggered neurons in the brain that brought out feelings of happiness and well-being. Seeing someone else smile, apparently elicited similar reactions. They conducted experiments on a whole host of emotions that were triggered by the external environment, facial expressions or words people spoke aloud.

The point they were trying to drive home was that as humans we are very sensitive to the words we hear, the things we see expressed in others (that we mimic almost unconsciously) and our social environment in general. It was revolutionary to realize that thoughts, feelings and ideas we have do not emanate from within so much as they reflect something that has been triggered from without...and that often there is a large element of 'choice' in the very feelings and thoughts we entertain.

Maybe this is why Jesus so often quoted directly from the Bible (Psalms and much of the Old Testament). In fact, almost everything he uttered had some basis on Scripture, even as I learned in an illuminating sermon today, "Seventy-times seven," the number of times to forgive someone (also the number uttered to Daniel in a prophecy in which God tells him the length of the Israelites exile before the coming of Christ.) Anyway, they were HIS words and thoughts, but they were also inspired by the voices and thoughts of those who predated him by hundreds of years...he seemed especially fond of quoting or taking on the words of King David, his distant ancestor...even til his death on the cross: "Oh God, oh God, why have thou forsaken me?" (Psalm 22)

So much for originality. No...but it's comforting to know that someone else has been there, done that, knows what it feels like to go through life and all the joys, pain, love and suffering that life often entails. I guess that was the point of the Incarnation. And I guess that's why his words, and the words of his forebears resonate so much with people today...for people with hearts that are alive and willing to be present.

(This is an afterthought, but it's neat to find that this ties in with the Philippians quote in the description of this blog above, obviously on my mind these days...:)

A few of my favorite things, part deux

Random, random thoughts, inspired by Alissa's "Six Weird Things About Me," making the blogging circuit. I wasn't tagged, so I feel obliged to pass on the warm fuzzies, but with a little variation of my own, entitled, "A few of my favorite things," which I should warn you, are actually more than a few:

1. lukas, my nephew - cutest, most precious boy in the world. (no, i'm not biased)

2. sushi, all kinds.

3. new york city.

4. whole milk.

5. puns. bad ones. and corny jokes - the worse, the better.

6. rapping. yes, out loud.

...and last but not least...

7. green peas. I have an inordinate affection for green peas. not world peas, green peas. (remember, I love puns.)

there you have it.

this is all prelude to something that caught my eye on the blogs listed below, titled, "Six Weird Things About Me." I have yet to come up with interesting ones of my own, but I liked the flavor of these below (from several different individuals, mind you):

*Alissa*

1. I strongly dislike most cheeses, unless they’re melted and on things like pizza and grilled cheese sandwiches. This puts me in a weird place with all my cultured friends (cheese, bread, and wine, right?), but the stuff makes me gag.

2. Similar situation with milk. I positively cannot drink milk from a glass. Disgusting.


3. When I was a kid, I used to dip my hands in those little plates of Elmer’s glue they’d have at art class and let it dry so I could peel it off. I still have to keep myself from peeling off scabs.

4. I have never seen Titanic.

***

*Josh*(tagged, by Alissa)

1. I pray a lot- Every morning I pray before I get out of bed. Then again when I leave the house. Then at work before it starts. Then at lunch time. Then when I get home (usually for 30 min to an hour). Then again before bed. And of course, any other times that I deem necessary throughout the day.

2. There has never been a time in my life when I haven’t wanted to be married- This may not be so weird for some but I know it will be for others. I’ve never so valued singledom that I’d prefer it to marriage. When I was sixteen I actually thought I was going to marry the girl I dated in high school. That’s a true story. Even as a young boy I dreamed of the day I’d be all grown-up with a wife of my own, despite my father’s warnings against the ball-and-chain of marriage. Alas, I’m still dreaming.

***

Neat, eh? Sorry if I've embarrassed anyone (including myself). May fall in the category of my favorite habit, a potential #8, divulging TMI.

A few of my favorite things

As I posted briefly in the goingtouganda blog, I've decided to start another, to widen the scope a bit, and share more about the goings on in other parts of my life, brain, thoughts, etc...

So here we go. I was inspired in part, by folks from church - acquaintances, really, but excellent writers and culture-enthusiasts. Here are my favorites below, as I work on creating original pieces of my own:

tara
josh
alissa (and tom)

Hope they don't mind my sharing.

Have fun and stay tuned.